• his car got egged, it ruined the paint on his door and fender, he had to pay $250 dollars for his portion of the insurance to get it fixed, then his car insurance decided they’d investigate him for fraud (like why would he egg his own car that was in perfect condition?)

  • insurance set up a witness testimony, did not call him the day that they were supposed to call him, he called them and they didn’t answer, then they called him the next day and he answered but their machine broke, and then they finally completed it the following day but he still felt like they were treating him like a criminal

  • they then wanted him to do a retroactive police report, so he called and dispatch told him they’d be there when they had a free officer — to which he proceeded to wait literally 4 whole hours before he called them back and told them to just reschedule as it was 11pm.

    • he called the next day and waited another 4 hours, and of course they came in the middle of his work presentation
      

• he found out his pup has tooth decay, they projected a level 2 disease and an $800 cleaning session, only for them to call him
  and reveal that his x-rays found out it was level 5 tooth decay (the worst level) and that he had 12 dead and rottting teeth, and it would then be $2200 to fix (obviously he said yes as he could never let his baby suffer, but still hurt the wallet)
  

• the basement project (that was supposed to be completed May 28th) had so many delays — the electricians were awful as they never responded or set up an inspection, which pushed back the final inspection even more as jesse and patrick had failed said electrical inspection because the electricians didn’t label the circut box, BUT the city just forgot to tell them that they had failed and couldn’t move forward with the final inspection, which obviously delayed them even further as patrick had to handle that. And then finally at the end of the project the two found that bewteen all the extra work the electricians caused, and all the other random stuff that went wrong, they had another $1500 to pay off
  

• he found out that his dealership was intentionally negligent with the details of his lease three years ago, and even though they promised no mileage limits and that all the money he was paying would go to the base amount of the car, they now want him to pay for the current value + remainder of the lease (loss of around $9000)

  • he had a consultation and while misleading someone into signing a contract is against the law, rarely does the person suing the company win as the onus is on them to provide substantial evidence that the businiess lied — and as most dealership talks are verbal there was little evidence to go off from (jesse also gets triggered when things work out for bad people)

  • now only way to even the disparity/loss of money between the originial plan of buying the car three years ago versus the current situation being that that they lied to him to get him to sign a lease, would be to take on a 36 month .99 APR contract at $830 a month to try to save the missing money via interest.
    

• he had to rush over to his grandmother’s house because she wasn’t feeling well, in a car he’s never driven before due to unfortunate circumastances, through a detour that took him twice as long to get there thanks to random construction, and then when he got there he had to call 911 because the situation was very worrisome (she’s okay now though, thankfully!)

  • a wee bit traumatic for jesse as he’s still processing it all

    • his aunt has never cried on the phone with him which was heartbreaking

    • the sad look on his grandmother’s face when they shut the ambulance doors (they told him not to go in and to drive/follow them to the hospital instead)

  • the diagnosis was covid which does not work out well for Jesse as he’s supposed to see his pregnant sister soon (though he would go help his grandmother 100 out of 100 times even knowing she had covid — just unfortunate circumstances and timing)
    

• his sister’s babyshower is coming up and the anxiety of potentially bringing her covid is quite literally ripping his mind apart

  • he is fighting the guilt of not helping set up (he knows everyone will understand but unfortunately cannot stop the bad feeling)

    • he also knows that there’s a plethora of places she could get sick as she literally works in a public field, but he knows that his brain would not accept any other explantion outside of it coming from him in the event she got sick
      

• he has an annual review coming up, but he avoided the last one as they were planning to get rid of him (they weren’t so quiet about their plans), so now he’s anxious that this will be the event that they terminate him from his position

  • and with the current job market it would be doomsday — potential loss of home and car

    • he’s applied for hundreds of jobs these last few weeks and it’s as dry as the desert
      

• and as of the day this is being written, his other pup just started vomiting profousely

  • while it should be fine he’s dreading the potential future where this is either fatal or be extremely expensive to cure and he can’t afford to help his pup after the latest expenses listed above

so yeah, Jesse is very close to losing his mind

he can’t explain how he knows, but he can feel his brain reacting the same way it did back in 2023 during his first mental breakdown where he blacked out screaming at the top of his lungs and crying in the car — it’s as if his brain is being fried, and there’s a constant static noise overwhelming his thoughts within his mind.

if you are worried about his mental health (you have a valid reason to be), take a look above and see where he’d place his own mental wellbeing on a scale of good to bad! he was dangerously close a day ago, but is doing his best to practice the therapy skills he’s accumulated over the years (though they only help so much sadly — journaling like this is one of them btw).

you may ask: ‘what can I do to help him?’ and truthfully, there isn’t much. it’s a mental battle within his psyche. though really, he just needs everyone’s patience as he slowly tries to detoxify himself from going nuclear. if he seems abrasive, it’s because he’s trying to put himself first in the moment, before it is too late. you could even check in on him if it looks really bad! Nothing personal. Thank you for understanding!